"I am sure that Jesus will support, advocate for, and help me forever."

Hi Everyone,

My name is Fatemeh and I am 36 years old. I was born in a Muslim Iranian family and I am the youngest of all. 

I lost my mother five years ago and my father three years ago. I was very close to them. After my parents died, I suffered from depression and as a result I lost all of my hair. I had a very tough time, believing that nobody could help me and I am alone. Every day, I asked myself “Why me? Why did I lose my parents?  Why did I lose all of my hair?  Why don’t I have a normal life????” 

My depression and physical illness made me believe that God had forgotten me completely; I thought that God could not see me and I lost hope. 

In our tradition, after losing parents, the responsibility for any single women in the family will transfer to the elders, which in my case were my brothers and my uncles. They were trying to force me to marry a man who already has a wife and 4 children and is 23 years older than me.  I attempted suicide twice but was unsuccessful. I didn’t know what to do then, so hoping to come to London where my kindest brother lives, I decided to run away, which I then did.

One day, on 28 March 2017, I was walking on Wood Green High Road when I saw Ryan by accident, while he was preaching about Jesus Christ and running a book table with Christian literature. Ryan gave me a handful of literature, one of them was ‘Do you know why Jesus died?’. He spoke with me and my friend. 

Out of curiosity, two or three weeks later I started to read that leaflet and searched the net about the Jesus.  Four months later on 16 July 2017 my friends came from Glasgow to London and we went to the church for the first time in my life. I had a very strange feeling that I can't describe at all. I didn't know anybody and I was kind of embarrassed.  After that day I occasionally went to the church (a couple of times each week) but during that period I still had thoughts about committing suicide - more than ever, simply because I was demotivated and I couldn't overcome my depression at all. 

I watched a film which was about the passion of Christ and I was very sad. When I was watching that film, I understood that Peter denied Jesus 3 times and Judas betrayed Jesus for some 30 coins. I texted to ask Ryan, “will Peter and Judas be forgiven”. Ryan answered, “Peter, yes, because he repented and continued to follow Jesus after he rose from the dead but Judas, no, because though he felt very bad, he did not seek God's forgiveness and killed himself.”

At that moment, I got shocked and made a decision that I will try not to think about suicide anymore. In that moment I promised to Jesus that I will try not to commit suicide anymore and I will try not to disappoint God for his grace. 

Since then I have faith in Jesus, completely. 

Every Thursday, Ryan and his wife teach lessons on Christianity and gave me a Christianity Explored DVD which helped me enormously. 

Right now as I stand in front of you I confess that I believe in Jesus with all of my heart and soul, I am sure that Jesus will support, advocate for, and help me forever. And now I am so hopeful and love life and also am becoming motivated as well. I don’t think about committing suicide anymore because I feel responsible in front of Jesus. 

I am so grateful to my God for helping me and showing me the light and also happy and delighted to have caring and wonderful friends in the church. I love you all. 

Thank you for your listening. 

(After entering the baptismal pool)

Pastor Ryan: Fatemeh, do you believe in God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit? 

Fatemeh: Yes, I believe absolutely. 

Elder Charles: Fatemeh, are you trusting in Jesus as your only hope of salvation? 

Fatemeh: Yes, I am trusting in him. 

Pastor Ryan: Are you committed to a life of repenting of sin and faith in Jesus Christ?

Fatemeh: I am

Pastor Ryan and Elder Charles: We baptise you our sister in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. You are buried with him in baptism, raised to walk in newness of life! 

Fatemeh shared her testimony with Grace Baptist Church in Wood Green (www.gracebaptistchurch.org.uk) on Sunday, 24 December 2017. She was then baptised upon her profession of faith in obedience to the command of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ into the membership of the church. Please pray for her growth in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ, for her perseverance by the Spirit's power, and for her ongoing witness to the gospel.